"Mob Wives" Ends on So-What Note, But Season 5 Is On

Natalie, far right, had the gall to tweet...
Mob Wives: New Blood was renewed for a fifth season this morning, following a terminally boring show finale last night. (Yes, we know the Reunion is next week, and Natalie and Renee are going to fight some more.)

The question remains, though: Who will be returning/not-returning for the fifth and, we predict, final season...

It's hard to write with passion about this show. I have come to a realization: the show, scripted or not, is serving merely as a platform to enrich these women so they'll never have to work again.

Is it coincidence that Renee, suddenly in the last episode, has written a novel, and has even found a publisher? (Probably sis acted as the agent and probably hired the ghostwriter, too) And the publisher is even throwing a book debut party--just in time for the season finale. (Of all the curve balls in reality TV, this is the most spectacularly offensive.)

Now, I can't recall, was there even one scene that showed Renee writing or talking about writing? I've been writing an awfully long time and know it usually takes years of practice to write a book (unless you hire a ghostwriter). You don't usually sit down and say, I'm gonna write a book, and presto, you complete a sell-able first draft... I know, I know, I am taking the show literally -- and you're not supposed to do that.

And if that's not enough, Natalie Guercio (who already has shown us her ability to model, and wow does she have that ability) decides to leap up into the spotlight and show us she can sing as well. And, of course, the "original" song she sings is "Delicious."

Let's see.... nearly every Drita scene not filmed with her adorable daughter occurred in either her first salon, open for business, or in the second, which is probably open by now.

Interestingly, Drita and Big Ang, who railed against Renee for the entire series, taking Natalie's side in a ridiculous argument that bloomed over Natalie's insertion of the word "delicious" at a delicate moment in time for Rene when she was hanging out at an eatery with the man hired to play her boyfriend.
Natalie tweeted...
Anyway Drita and Big Ang who stood up to Renee who was acting (the key word?) like a psychotic for much of the season (re: the first couple of Las Vegas episodes) suddenly turn against Natalie, literally in a heartbeat, and are back on team Graziano. The reason: Natalie tweeted!!!!!

Only they're all friends now because Renee didn't have a psychotic break when Natalie was vocalizing the words to the "Delicious" song. (We haven't checked; is it on iTunes yet? Is Renee's book available for purchase? Did Drita's new salon make its opening? I honestly can't recall...I do know this: if Natalie poses in Playboy, I will purchase a copy.)

Bottom line, we got a happy ending. I think. I may have drifted off before the end.... Big Ang was talking about becoming impregnated and things got hazy.

Oops, we forgot to mention Alicia DiMichele, the most self-righteous (and most Mafioso) of the bunch. When not drowning in a puddle of tears of her own self-pity, she was complaining about a.) her husband's affairs with other women, b.) the fact that she "never signed up for this" and "can't fathom how she got to this place to begin with" -- even though she married a mobster, was caught speaking incriminating words on a federal wiretap and plead guilty to crimes when she could have said "not guilty," and c.) is deeply terrified she will have to leave her children and go to prison when she probably knows she won't have to serve a single day.

It is interesting to note that in the first story we wrote about the season, which was focused on "Alicia DiMichele" -- which was written before the VH1 publicity machine kicked into gear -- we wrote that "Alicia DiMichele, who was formerly married to a Colombo associate, will star on the show "Mob Wives" when it debuts..." and then: "Interestingly, Alicia has legal troubles all her own -- though she apparently has already started filming for the TV show and only faces a fine, so it doesn't look like the law will cut her new career short..."
Natalie tweeted, can you believe that!
Poor, poor Big Ang. We really like her a lot, we respect her. She was the rasping voice of reason on the show. She was practically clipped this season. All she got to do was react--react to Renee and react to Natalie and react to Alicia...

Oh wait... she did have a story line. She decides she's not having a baby because her unmarried unemployed son and his girlfriend are having a baby.

That's the best excuse I have ever heard for telling your live-in./live-out boyfriend that no, he can't knock you up. Not that he could give two shits based on his reaction....Is it me, or did he have a sort of "WTF" look in his eyes, like he was thinking he forgot how he was supposed to respond.

To any bloggers who have written stuff like "the fourth season of Mob Wives: New Blood has been so filled with drama we can hardly believe it" -- we have zero respect for you. Even the biggest-lipped kiss-asses can't go that far and maintain an iota of credibility.

One last note: We loved the music (we didn't really, we say we did for a comical kind of effect. In other words, the music on the show was so ridiculous and bad, it should be taken as a joke for one to say they "loved" it). The music served as the "Dah-dah... dah-dah..." in the film Jaws. It let you know how you should feel.

A sad scene happening? Sad music played....

Scenes of potential confrontation? We get the thriller music, as if from a horror movie.

They think we're so dumb that they need to tell us how we should react to each scene.... that is, when the show is not serving as an advertorial for any products or services any of the women are selling... or planning to sell...

We have a second final note for Natalie Guercio: Natalie, we would leave New York in a New York minute for you.