Brawlin' & Bitchin' Highlights "Mob Wives" Opener

Back for season three.
The debut episode of season three of "Mob Wives" didn't waste any time, diving right into a major story line that will probably continue gaining steam throughout the entire season.

Renee's wheels are turning.
THE "A" STORY LINE FOR TONIGHT: Right off the bat Carla and Renee were shaping up to take each other on. I am not sure how this battle got started -- there is what happens on the show, and there is what happens in real life, some of which apparently played out on Twitter in this case. In fact the social media platform was mentioned prominently on this episode. Would that make this a case of reality imitating life, imitating reality? Somehow we think Carla nailed down the absurdity of Renee mentioning Twitter on the show when she yelled: "LET'S TALK ABOUT TWITTER, RENEE! LET'S TALK ABOUT TWITTER!!" It was like she was saying, how pathetic are you to bring up Twitter on the show -- and Carla is right. Renee must really be working the tweets hard in search of allies. but as Carla seems to know, as soon as Twitter starts setting the show's agenda, and not the other way around, that show is in trouble.

Carla "grows some balls," as Big Ang says.

"I never liked that Twitter," Big Ang says at one point, to which we say: Right on!!! We never liked that Twitter, either!!

"You're a go-to girl," Renee says to Carla. WTF?

"Who ever says [go-to girl] anymore!" Big Ang says,  in response to Renee's above comment.

"I don't think it's Renee's business," again Big Ang, saying what she thinks of Renee's problems with Carla...

And finally: "I think he's a horror!" Big Ang on Junior Pagan, in response to Renee's accusations that both Love and Carla f---ed him...

BACK TO "A": Moving forward, it seems like Renee's son and Carla got into some kind of spat, on Twitter, which caused Renee to stand up for her son -- the one who seems to not give the slightest crap what she does. She calls Carla a whore, saying she sleeps with married men, including Renee's now-ex-husband, Junior Pagan. Comically enough, Renee later accuses Love, who was supposed to be one of two new mob wives joining season three, of the same thing -- screwing Pagan. In Renee's eyes, Pagan must be one brawny god of a man, a veritable mountain of male molten lava, a sex god that women merely take one look at and start melting... 

The newbie Love. Where is other new mob wife?
Her charges of adultery are also difficult to prove. Renee claims "other wives" are also in-the-know about Carla's supposed illicit bedroom romps, but then we don't have access to them, do we? She doesn't bring them to brunch at Big Ang's. So, for battling with her son on Twitter, Carla is slimed as a slut by Renee, and everyone is supposed to take Renee at her word. I will believe Carla is the whore Renee says she is when I believe Renee created the Mob Candy brand while pigging out on chocolate.

In return, Carla throws out remarks that we know are true, judging by Renee's own reactions. Carla calls her a junky. And the two go back and forth screaming at each other, blood pressures visibly rising before a shaken and stirred Drita and Big Ang. I did feel uncomfortable with how quick and abrupt Carla used the word junky, especially with Big Ang there (her son has his own problems). But Carla wasn't judging all addicts, she was arguing with Renee and attacking back -- at least that's what I think.

We all know Renee eventually goes into rehab, although I believe she never said it was due to addiction; she seemed to say that she went there as a destination for therapy and to clean up her head, not to clean any chemicals out of her system. So apparently, she quit drugs, then went into rehab, which I never heard of. Detoxing off drugs can kill you or make you wish you were dead; rehabs have a detox area attached to them. Detox can last a week or less, depending on the person, then they go into rehab.

But the bottom line: If Renee went into rehab because she was shamed into going by Carla, which is what seems to happen, then Renee actually owe's Carla everything.

OUR FAVORITE MOMENT FROM TONIGHT: Remember when the girls were all meeting for drinks at Big Ang's bar, the Drunken Monkey -- and Love Majewski walked in, smiling and poised to greet the other mob wives? And that shit-eating grin frozen on Renee's face? Well, in addition to that being one hell of an awkward moment -- something that the makers of this show are expert at creating -- we loved the horror-movie soundtrack that was playing in the background. It somehow seemed so appropriate...

Then the girls leave so Renee and Love can have their sitdown, which was resolved much too quickly. Just as Renee seems she is about to explode like a volcano, she deflates, noting she doesn't give a crap about Pagan -- whom she accused Love of sleeping with, as mentioned earlier.

WHAT ABOUT KAREN AND RAMONA: Not much of Karen and Ramona on the episode, though there was a standout moment when Ramona was with her kids in a playground, where she told them that her boyfriend was still in the clink so they couldn't go through with the wedding she and Joe had apparently planned. With Joe away no money was coming in, either... Just when I thought she was going to say it would have to be medical experiments for the lot of them, she said they'd have to move out of Joe's house and into an apartment, which the kids didn't like at all. They'd have to share bedrooms too, which made a couple of them gasp.

Ramona provides a reminder that we are watching "Mob Wives."

As the saying go, It's the wife and kids that do the hard time when the men go away.

Hey Ramona, try to get some business venture off the ground; use your "brand awareness" to make some bucks. Come out with a line of perfume -- or better yet, be a spokesperson for someone... I loved Drita's turn in the commercial for the film "Broken City." It's the kind of movie I'd love to see, anyway, but she did a great job kicking back and hyping the flick.

AND ON A FINAL NOTE: We saved the robbery of Renee's house for last. We tried to see if there was any progress in the investigation since the robbery occurred last July. Oddly enough, all the stories we found about the July break-in attributed TMZ as their source; and TMZ broke the story as an exclusive, saying it got its info from "sources." Finally I found a NY Post story that said what I was looking for: according to the police, there was a break-in at Renee's house...

So considering who her father is, who would rob this woman? Whoever it was, it was someone who knew the alarm system -- knew the recording device was hidden in the attic. They probably also knew Renee was in Atlantic City for a week, which is when the robbery occurred. Perhaps it was one of Junior's old friends, who didn't like Junior's decision to flip?

Renee said the burglary was mostly an act of vandalism, with the robbers tearing up pictures of her and her dad, among other things.

This could be Bonanno family business -- are some members of the "family" angry about Pagan, or perhaps the Grazianos in particular for creating and filming this show, which became a huge hit, shining a blinding spotlight on one of the Five Families of New York? Chances are the police won't be arresting anyone if they haven't already, so we may never know. But I also noticed that in newspaper stories TG is referred to as the "former Bonanno gangster" -- which may or may not mean anything, as well.


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